Okay, not THAT CIA (Central Intelligence Agency of the United States Government). Instead an acronym/heuristic for things that Control-Influence-Affect you. In a nut shell, to be happier, more productive or at least less dysfunctional remember that there are things that:
- Control: You can directly control, make the most of these opportunities.
- Influence: You can influence these but you do not control them. Be care how much you influence, the more you influence you exert – the less control you often end up with.
- Affect: You are affected but you can neither control nor influence this things.
Child Rearing According to the CIA
Sometimes called ‘strategic apathy’ or know what not to care about, children provide a great example of the CIA concept:
- Control: for about the first six years of a child’s life you pretty much have control. Or at least you think you do until the two-year old has a melt down in Walmart.
- Influence: starting about age six your control wanes and instead your influence predominates. Influence falls to a new low around age fourteen and then starts to pick up again after age seventeen. With grown children, the degree to which you influence is slight but not unimportant.
- Affect: at some point your children will take control of your life. Hopefully it is deciding to pull the plug after a great life and a snowboarding accident occurring on your 99th birthday. If you are not so lucky, they will choose your nursing home. Consider this carefully when your two-year old is having her melt down in Walmart.
Not a New Idea
This is not an original idea, the ‘Serenity Prayer‘, adopted by Alcoholics anonymous, has been around for nearly a century and has a similar theme.
What is different is the evaluation criteria and what to do about CIA. Here are some questions that for each part of the heuristic.
- All the questions from Influence, plus…
- Why and how did you come to have control of this? How does your control align with the principles of legitimacy?
- What is the worse that can happen if you do nothing?
- If you do something, can you reasonably predict the impact of the ‘Law of Unintended Consequences’?
- Can you loan/give/share control with others without losing your accountability or responsibility? Would this make the solution better, worse or about the same?
- In exerting control, are your objectives and intentions noble?
- All the questions from Affect, plus…
- Why and how did you come to have influence over this? Do you want this influence and what is worst/best thing that could happen as a result to you?
- How much influence do you have as compared to others? How do their intentions align with yours?
- By influencing this, will it diminish or augment your influence or control over other things?
- How little influence can you exert to achieve your objectives?
- In exerting influence, are your objectives and intentions noble?
- Why and how did you come to be affected by this?
- Who has control and if no one, should someone have control and should it be you?
- Who has influence and how do their intentions align with your priorities?
- With effort, can you be in control or influence this thing? Would you want to you and is it worth the effort to do so?
- If this came to pass, could you live with it, will it harm you, your family or your community? If yes to the first and no to the second, why are you thinking about it?
- Is there a precedent here that you need to worry about?
- Can you turn this to your advantage? Can you at least hedge against any untoward impacts?
The CIA So-What?
This Phrankism has been useful in deciding upon a course of action. It is amazing how often we spend considerable effort trying to change things that we do not control or even influence. Sort of the adage ‘everyone talks about the weather but never does anything about it’. The CIA heuristic is a handy way to stop, think and then act in a manner that expends the least amount of energy for the greatest benefit.