At a certain age, retirement becomes a possibility.  Canadian author Lyndsay Green’s book: “Ready to Retire?: What You and Your Spouse Need to Know About the Reality of Retirement” is written for men thinking about pulling the plug on work.

This is Ms. Green’s fourth book [1] about aging and perhaps it is good that it was written by a woman.  Male-bashing is a fast-growing sport in our society and a man who can afford to retire even more so.  In other words, Ms. Green could have written a virtue signalling book by demonizing men who have worked and saved for their golden years.  Instead, she has looked at such diverse areas of men’s lives as their health (mental and physical), relationships, finances and what does it mean to be a retired male in the early part of the 21st century. 

Snow in Vienna, December 2018.

Nary a Finance in Sight

This is not a book about Freedom 55 or reverse mortgages.  Instead, it is about what happens when work stops and the next phase commences.  It starts on a depressing note with the dreaded 4 D’s that plague retired men: Drinking, Depression, Divorce and Death. 

Money (or lack of it), is often NOT the cause of the 4 D’s. Most of the men in Green’s book and statistics she provided indicate that while income drops, expenditures also drop or are offset by savings [2].  

The D’s arise out of a sense of loss: job, social-networks, self-worth and purpose.  Two of the cultural touch points used in the book are Arthur Miller’s play: Death of a Salesman and the Jack Nicholson movie About Schmidt.  While the play is a metaphor for retirement gone wrong, the movie is a metaphor about coming to grips with aging.  

Working At Retirement

Part of getting a grip on retirement is the transition after work stops.  Some men who have retired return to the workforce, others work part time or volunteer in a near full-time capacity.  In addition to improving their financial position, this type of work helps them to fill in the losses of retirement (not to mention, get away from their wives or, just as likely, give their partners some much need solitude).  Part-time work may include re-negotiating the current role in an organization or completely re-inventing one’s self.  No matter what the form, paid or not, working post retirement is critical for a long and healthy life: [3].

Gene Cohen, the late professor of psychiatry, spent decades studying people over sixty and helping them get more out of their later years. In his book The Mature Mind: The Positive Power of the Aging Brain, Cohen reports that the people who were the most satisfied with their retirement were those who had found meaningful volunteer experiences

Friends, Homes and Retirement

A source of the 4 D’s is loneliness.  For many men, their social network revolves around work.  Men often expect to spend more time with their spouses as the center of the social relationships while the same women plan to spend more time with children, grandchildren, relatives and friends.  

The home itself can become a battle ground as men attempt to change the physical space and rhythm of the house upon retirement.  Nevertheless, most couples work out the flow.  When this does not occur, divorce does occur with the wife typically precipitating the split.  

A Book About Men … and Women

Ms. Green does a great job of weaving into the narrative the stories and perspectives of the wives and partners of the men she interviewed.  She did this in a confidential manner so that not even a husband might know which of the individuals referenced was his wife. 

Nevertheless, the men who took part in the interviews nearly all have supportive wives and themselves are supportive of the women in their lives. Most of the men have taken over the domestic chores so their wives can return to work, go to school, volunteer or to just share the workload.  

Concluding With a Wise Support Group

In summary, a man’s retirement can be the start of a decline or can be the start of the best/last chapter in his life.  How this will turn out depends upon his mind set, his plans and his support network after the pay cheques stop.  Nothing particularly new in this advise but still very worth the reminder.

Select Further Reading

[1] For example, You Could Live a Long Time: Are You Ready?

[2] Fred Vettese and Bill Morneau; The Real Retirement; Why You Could Be Better Off Than You Think, and How to Make That Happen,

[3] Gene Cohen; The Mature Mind: The Positive Power of the Aging Brain.

Daniel Klein; In Travels with Epicurus.

Roger Housden; How Rembrandt Reveals Your Beautiful, Imperfect Self, 

UK report The Seven Myths of Population Aging: How Companies and Governments Can Turn the “Silver Economy”.